His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
