Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
