so that wasnt chicken after all
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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