Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
