Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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