I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
