so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It's blow job season.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
