I feel like abortions should bother me more
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
