hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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