Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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