Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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