oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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