Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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