then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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