the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
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He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
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how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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