Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
