I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
