so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
