We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
