omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
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just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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