apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
