I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
