your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
