My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
