Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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