i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
