Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Even my vagina gasped.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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