No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize