Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
