Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize