he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
