Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I need a beard to bite.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
