So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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