his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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