stop calling my apartment porn island.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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