are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
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