your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize