Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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