Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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