So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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