What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
