Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
we have officially lost it.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I believe in your delicious
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
