Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize