can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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