Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
