if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
