You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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