so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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