i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
