i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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