I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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