You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
