So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
