Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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