I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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