I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
