i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
