he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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