I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just want to make out with him forever
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
