im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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