Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
